Burn Your Checklist, Keep Your Standards

Women love the idea of love. We especially love the warm gooey feeling of new love. We fantasize about the first kiss, the first “I love you”, long walks in the park, changing our Facebook relationship status, riding off into the sunset and growing old with that special someone. However, the problems arise when these dreams are formed under the influence of pre-packaged, just-add-water misconceptions about romance. In the quest for love we may fail to reconcile the fantasy of love with what makes relationships actually function in the real world: hard work.




I am noticing a troubling dichotomy in the dating force. There is a cross-section of women that are so caught up in their own pre-baked fantasy, complete with so many particulars and checklists, that they actually have boxed themselves into being un-dateable. On the other end of the spectrum are women so scared to be alone, so consumed by the fantasy, that they have all but given up and thrown any standards to the wind. They would settle for any dude with a pulse, or, I suspect, a really hot vampire. This is concerning to me because in both circumstances the outcome is the same; no one is building healthy, sustainable relationships.

by Andrea Michelle at UPTOWN Magazine
What are your thoughts?

Love Note #3: Why Did I Get Married?

Hey Luv bugs! My blog posts talks a lot about dating issues for the single gal but this one is dedicated to our married ladies. Well, let's begin! I'll start by saying, I knew I wanted to marry my husband within the first month of dating him. The reason was simple, he was the opposite of all the guys I dated before him. When I met my husband, I was on a dating vacation. I was not hating men, but I needed sometime to elevate, who I was, what I wanted for myself, and what I NEEDED from a relationship. I stress NEEDED because sometimes our WANTs are not what we need.

I decided if I wanted things to be different in my next relationship my criteria for a mate would need to change. In addition, the woman I pictured myself to be needed some adjustments. You see, you can not demand something from someone else if you do not hold yourself to the same standards. So, my husband met me at the right time. I was ready for change, I knew what I wanted, needed and settling was not an option! I was ready for love.
In relationships, there will be happy days, sad days, ups and down and many silent moments. Relationships are never perfect. They require care and maintenance throughout its cycle. So, ladies, when times are rough, ask yourself , Why did I Get Married? and hopefully it will bring a smile.

Signing Off,

Lyles on Love